ATALOSS

In 28 days I will be 35 years old. I felt it was time for a return to a balance that is harmonic and non violent in nature. This image expressed the feeling of my true natures facial expression. I imagined myself locked away some where deep within me looking out at me and just in awe as I observed myself and my actions. How can I do the things I am doing after achieving what I had so many months ago. From where I stand now, almost a year has passed since my peaceful stage. I miss that earlier time before the Jediism and all the other religious jargon. A time when there just was me and the breath. That's it. If I'm not mistaken, it's been 10 months since my last blog entry. I suppose I've been extremely angry and depressed since my fall back to the former self, the "shadow self ". Am I ready for another attempt at it? Am I ready? Is it worth it? I don't know, and that's probably a good place to start. Being honest with my self, acknowledging that I do not have all the answers right now, but .....I'm working on it. I find myself truly at a loss for anything in this present moment. I know that I have been paying less and less attention to my breathing , and that's where the problem began and lies. I'd prefer to be at a loss for words and such because adjusting is a bit easier this way. I have been "under water" so to speak and have been looking for a place to reemerge to the surface and come back up for AIR. NOW is the "time". I suppose being speechless is greater than having much to say. Well here I am, once again blogging. Lets see where this goes. I have been away for so long from myself and growing increasingly more and more isolated and anti-social. These are not very good indicators. Then again with out them how can I know it's time for resurfacing so to get some fresh air? Anyways ...until whenever...NAMASTE!